Saving My Life
It's difficult for me on where I should begin because I had no idea what was in store for me when I walked through the doors of the Edna House a year ago. I have always grown up knowing about the Edna House because my mother is in recovery herself and frequently picked up women here when she used to live on the Westside. I have always viewed it as a special place where women were able to come to get sober and change their lives. However, little did I know it would be me several years later at 23 years old.
I was not sure what to expect, let alone if this was going to work for me, but I am so thankful that I stayed and allowed the women here to love me before I could love myself. The rules and routine are in place for a reason. The Edna House has taught me how to respect myself and others, discipline, integrity, being of service to others, incorporating the 12 steps within my life, and how to be happy again. The groups helped me tremendously to understand why I could not stay sober while I was out there and figure out the root of my causes and conditions. It reinforced why I acted the way I did and how delusional my thinking was when I was an active alcoholic or not working the 12 steps. I needed to take a "pause" from the world because I was unable to see the severity of the dark path I was spiraling down towards and had to give myself the chance to heal. I remember an Edna alumni said at an A.A. meeting once, "When was the last time you have kept a promise to yourself?" That stumped me because I never once kept a promise to myself. I deserved to take this time and accept the help I needed so I can learn a sober way of life which is what Edna gave to me.
While being at Edna, I learned what the "we" of Alcoholics Anonymous was, especially when I lost my father to alcoholism when I had 3 months at the house. My Edna sisters, the staff, and my sponsor are the ones who got me through that difficult time. If I was not at the Edna House when I lost my father when I did, I probably would not be here. That was my Higher Power doing what I could not do for myself. I am so thankful that I was in a safe and loving place when that happened. I learned how to be a true friend to those around me and give back to the new woman walking through the doors like I did a year ago.
There are not enough words to express how grateful I am to the Edna House. I would not be where I am today without them. It is true when they say it is a place of miracles. It is where I found my spirituality and my true self. Because of being sober and the Edna House, I can be a functioning member of society and return to college to complete my last year of my studies. I am so grateful for my Edna sisters' kindness, patience, and acceptance of me. I'm grateful for the Edna House staff for not allowing me to slack off by holding me accountable for my actions and responsibilities when I fell short. I have made friendships that will last a lifetime.
The laughs and memories at Edna will always hold a special place in my heart. I am so happy that I gave myself a chance to come to Edna to seek help, let alone stayed a year. It was never my plan to stay longer than six months, but everything happens for a reason. I cannot ever repay what Edna has given me. I hope I can give to the new Edna sister what was given to me and continue to be of service to this house with whatever is needed of me. I cannot thank you enough for saving my life and believing in me when I couldn't.